Grass Lessons

The weather is getting warmer and everything is greening up, even the yard.  The blue bells down in the slough are just starting to bloom.

Today I took my first long trip on a riding lawn mower.  Two hours of cutting grass that varied in depth from “where did I mow last pass?” to “is there a deer hiding in there?”  There are four important lessons I took away from this exercise.

  1. Go potty before you get on a riding lawn mower!
  2. The back tires stick out as far as the blades.
  3. Backing up causes the blades to stop.
  4. How to engage the cruise control.

The potty thing is self-explanatory.  All the moisture in my body was shaken right down into my bladder within minutes of getting on the mower.  Too bad you can’t focus all that shaking into a good back massage.  I think my kidneys switched sides.

The back tires were tricky.  I could get the blades right under that trailer hitch on the back of the truck, but then the back tire was way too high.  I realized this after moving the truck about four inches sideways.  It let me get at a little more grass on the east side of the truck anyway.

This is the first time I’ve backed up the mower with the blades going.  I thought the mower got quieter, but it’s all kind of relative.  I reversed to get around the mail box and continued on my way.  It wasn’t until I got all the way back around the yard, and noticed that the mower seemed to be blow drying the grass instead of cutting it, that I realized my mistake.  The mower works much better with the blades spinning.

I noticed a handy little knob on the mower that said cruise control.  I thought, “now that’s cool!”  But it took me half an hour to figure out how to get it to work.  Meanwhile my right calf is now half an inch thicker than my left.  It should even out over the rest of the summer.

I really don’t like cutting grass.  I’m thinking of trading the dogs in on a couple of goats.  I wonder if goats would eat the dog food I already have stockpiled?



One Reply to “Grass Lessons”

  1. Look at it this way Jerry, you could also be plowing snow with the tractor! Then you would be all bundled up and batteling frostbite!
    Glad winter is over!

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